The 1st day of the rest of my life...

So there I was after a pretty slow day at work, relaxing! I would just like to point out that up until this very day I spent the majority of my time doing just that! I was young, free & I had nobody to look out for but number 1! I was really enjoying life & it showed! Every weekend was spent burning the candle at both ends & the days that I spent in work seemed to pale into insignificance! I was living for the weekend!

My phone suddenly burst into life, it was my other half, we had been seeing eachother for no longer than a few months & I had never been so happy! It was no surprise for me to see her name flashing on my screen as we had spent the best part of the last four months glued to one-another & it was bliss! If you would've asked me...every second spent apart at that very time was a second wasted! We had an unusually brief conversation in which we had planned to have dinner at my parents house.

She arrived, we said our hello's & headed straight for the kitchen. Looking back, I could sense a sort of awkwardness about the whole situation, something wasn't sitting right but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. My 1st thought...she's breaking up with me! Then I dismissed that as quickly as it had raised it's head, we were both enjoying this too much for that! She just stared at me & said that she needed to tell me something. LONG (AWKWARD) PAUSE! Nope, I had no clue what she was talking about! I'm a typical bloke in that way I suppose, can't take even the biggest of hints! After me staring at her blankly for what felt like the best part of an hour, she said it again but with more emphasis on the word NEED! This did nothing but acted to confuse me further! I started to think at this point that she may of had a couple of vodkas on the drive over to my house! Not good! I was just about to pull my most gormless face & without warning she hit me with both barrels!

"I'm pregnant!"

My head suddenly split in two! Impossible...or was it?! It can't be...or can it?! My mind was absolutely racing, I couldn't keep up! I leant back on the kitchen worktop & tried to digest what I had just heard! A million worries suddenly filled my 22 year old head! It wasn't like it was supposed to be, this wasn't what we had planned, this isn't how it goes in the films! I should've been jumping for joy & yet I could barely remove the gormless look from my face! I tried as best as I could to compose myself and say something, anything! The words didn't come! My mind was in overdrive & as I am sure you all know, a man cannot think and speak at the same time!

When the dust had settled from the bombshell that had just been dropped in my Mum & Dad's kitchen, I opened my mouth to speak......and my mother walked in! Talk about perfect timing! She was talking about dinner plans & the second she seen the gurn on my face, she knew, as every mother would, that her son was deep in thought. She changed her tune straight away & asked what I was up to. Ever the optimist! I just stared at her & at that very moment I could hear laughter! The two most important women in my life were stood in silence, just staring at me & it was then that I realised that the laughter was coming from me........

Unknown territory...

So there I was, after deciding that I was definitely going to start writing my own blog, just staring at a blank screen waiting for a fantastic idea to wander, fully formed, into my subconscious....nothing! I looked at blog after blog after blog for that little bit of inspiration to wash over me....still nothing! I created, and was soon after suspended from a newly developed Twitter account in my desperation to lure people to a blog aimed at absolutely nothing! It was no use! To say that it was all a bit vague would be an understatement! I then took to trawling the darkest corners of my mind (which didn't take long) for a subject that I could not only talk about, but a subject that that I could also see people being interested in, something that could help people. I like to think that I know a fair bit about a pretty varied range of subjects - Mr Current Affairs...hardly! Turns out that my knowledge base is about as broad as my 3 year old daughters shoulders!

I had to change my tack, I started to draw upon my own experiences. What would've been useful to me? What could I see myself reading day after day? Once again, nothing! It was at this point that my daughter came to me & asked me what I was doing. If only I knew! Suddenly, it hit me!

Only once in my life had I felt so absolutely clueless, so utterly bewildered. THE BIRTH OF MY 1ST CHILD! Of course! What a life changing event! Bar none, the most memorable, emotional & challenging time of any young persons life. Countless times I have been asked to put into words just how it made me feel! From the second I found that I was to be a father, to this very day. Every single moment as special as the next!

This being the 21st century, Google provided me with a wealth of information with regards to bringing children into this world. However, as a young man of 22 years, a biology lesson was not what I needed. The info that I wanted to be reading seemed pretty hard to come by, almost impossible it seems. I wanted 1st hand advice, a no holds barred account, blow by blow, bones n' all! I had no friends or immediate family with babies & absolutely no experience in caring for children whatsoever! I had to go it alone...I was forced to face the challenges of parenthood uneducated, unarmed & totally underprepared!

So here we are...4 years on & i've found myself a subject to blog about! I'm here to write about my experiences, however limited they may be. The happy, the sad, the highs & the lows. My philosophy is...if I can provide just 1 person with advice, however big or small then it's a job well done!